So I had this really frickin wierd convo tonight at 2am....its always the odd ones up late (wonder what that says about Me?)

happydisk66: hi
Freaky:
Freaky: howdy
happydisk66: i'm going to be living in ny till christma
happydisk66: s
happydisk66: i'll be very lonely
happydisk66: i have an apartment all to myself
Freaky: lol I dunno whether to say awww or good for you
happydisk66: come dom me
happydisk66: live in my apartment
Freaky: *eyebrow* well darlin, as much as that offer is appealing, I dont have a car. So Im not goin anywhere. Plus I work odd hours so figuring out a time would be kinda difficult
happydisk66: i could pick you up
happydisk66: i'm going to ma this week
happydisk66: then moving back to ny
Freaky: and I dont know you that well darlin so Im not going to let you come kidnap Me
happydisk66: you are the dom
happydisk66: you are kidnapping me
Freaky: pet, I am not going to go stay in some random apt in
Freaky: ny when I have a lovely one right here in mass, where I also have a job.
happydisk66: true
Freaky: not gonna happen
happydisk66: but you won't have to work
Freaky: um thanks but I like My job actually. Plus, what about when christmas comes and youre no longer in ny?
happydisk66 is typing a message.
happydisk66: i don't knoow
Freaky: seriously, this conversation is over.


And tomorrow is Floating World!!! *dances*

am I done yet?

So Im sitting here, having just woken up on My first day off from work *yay!!* wondering where courtesy went in our culture. Little old ladies used to get walked across streets, older men and women were addressed as "sir" or "ma'am" not "hey old guy" or "hey gramma". Yesterday I watched an older woman that I work with get plowed into by a kid who wanted to go out on his smoke break so bad he nearly brained her with a door. He didnt even apologize.

This afternoon I wake up (I work second shift Im allowed to sleep in dammit) and theres no one in the house. She at least left a note *shrugs* still its a fucked feeling waking up and thinking there are people in the house when youre really alone.

I got called evil today. And not the good kind of evil where you think up horrible yet fun things to do to someone. No I got called the spawn of darkness, hell reborn, evil incarnate....it was kinda sweet actually *smiles*

This person also went on to call Me cute....which threw Me a bit. Can evil truely be cute? Can hellspawn be adorable? Im kinda confused here, this person meant I was evil....but he also meant I was cute. He thinks Im a fluffy bunny...with big sharp teeth. I dont really know how to react to that. When someone calls Me evil My first reaction is thank you, but what the hell does evil do when someone calls it cute?

~Raven~

Its there, pulsing in My belly in waves. It feels like something is clawing My insides to shreds. Ive taken painkillers, antacids, anything I can think of. I dont menstruate so its nothing to do with that (issues when I was a kid left Me with severe uterine scarring and an inability to ovulate). I dont know whats wrong with Me. Its in the wrong area to be the appendix, and its sharp, stabbing pains. Im so screwed.

I want to know something about you. Fill this crap out.

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song or Album:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent:
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!)
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?


Ready.....go!

absolutly hilarous!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOl1LqyUL4Q&feature=related

anything cooked by either Alton Brown, Matsuharu Morimoto, or Mario Batali.

Seems like I have blogs all over the place, but none of them get used. I join just to read a certain persons writings and never go further. Think its time to change that, I need to get some things out and as only one person really knows who I am on here this is as good a place as any.

I think Im going crazy. Not rubber room padlocked door and thorazine ever three hours crazy, been there done that know the signs, but a gentler kind of crazy. Im alone, alot lately. The flatmate is never home, which is fine and Im glad she has a life and has fun, but it kind of leaves me with no choice but to be alone. I dont have a car, I dont have a job, I just have these walls and the animals. She keeps telling me to call her friends and have them come take me places, but she doesnt get that they are HER friends, I dont know them. Ive met them a grand total of five times I think, and that doesnt strike me as friendship. I have a hard enough time asking friends Ive known for years for favors. Ive done nothing but mooch off my flatmate for weeks now and its killing me. I dont like the situation Im in and asking her friends for favors is not something that I am willing to do.

I dont know anyone up here. I wonder if she realizes exactly how much I gave up to move here. I gave up being near my family, being near ALL of my friends. This was supposed to be a big opportunity for me, but its turning into another prison.

Im glad that she has a boyfriend, and I realize that they have gone through alot lately, but Im feeling seriously trapped here. Im scared of whats in my head, and Ive had to live with myself alone for way too long now.

~Freak~

listening to: closing time, semisonic
reading: nightseer, Laurell K hamilton
watching: bones